Hyperrealistic cakes started hitting the meme scene a handful of years ago, ultimately culminating in a TikTok challenge to guess if it’s cake or real. And while we “oh and ah” at these cake achievements, sometimes, when you see that cross-section, you don’t really want to eat it. Not to mention that most of these cakes are loaded up with fondant, which isn’t that tasty. That said, let’s start the list. Here are ten realistic cakes that you don’t want to eat.
10 Cigarette Cake
The war against tobacco or cigarettes is no deterrent to conjuring cool with the image of the cigar. But it really only works when a good-looking celebrity is the one smoking—and when you don’t see any of the carnage associated with it. An ashtray containing stale butts, left out for days and wafting their stale smoke-laden smell into the room is one of the most disgusting things you can find. You wouldn’t want to order or eat a cake that has a fondant-ashtray with cigarette bits on it.
YouTuber Seller Seller had a reason. Yes, they did a fantastic job and yes, this cake-maker is talented. However, no amount of talent could make me want to eat a cake that has cigarettes and an ashtray. Someone else can fill the void and their pie (or cake) hole.
9 Sneaker Cakes
We won’t lie. This next cake is far more impressive than the cigarette one. Cakes StepbyStep shows us how to make a colorful sneaker cake, although I’m not sure how an amateur baker would be able to pull this off, even with the tutorial. More like step-by-step, you suck at making cakes, let me show you how it’s done, okay?
The cake maker is able to create a beautiful shoe mold out of a Blue Cake and then adds shoe texture (because it exists) to the fondant. I don’t even know how tie my shoes.
Although I would love to thank the cake Lord for this one, I wouldn’t eat it. Not only do I have little interest in eating a shoe, but I also have zero interest in eating fondant and ruining someone’s art.
8 Bloody Human Skin Cakes
Fondant hatred aside, this cake may be obvious as to why you wouldn’t want to eat it. It is one of the most horrific, gruesome things I’ve ever seen in the baking world. Epic Confections made this Halloween centerpiece.
There are skins that have been sewn together, as well as bones, guts, and a slimy, bloody glaze. It reminds me of dissection in Anatomy & Physiology in high school. The baker really did what they set out to do because I’m not touching this cake with a 10-foot pole, let alone eating it.
Fondant is something I must talk about because the intestines contain it. Fondant is a marshmallowy, sugary icing you can mold and color to your liking. Fondant tastes like a strange, soft, sugar comforter. It is almost like eating a cake cover. Now, imagine a tube made of this in the shape of intestines. You should remove the intestines before you eat this piece of cake.
7 Cockroach Cake
Cockroaches are a nuisance in urban areas and can cause serious health problems. And you know that where there’s one, there’s hundreds of them lurking in the darkest corners of your house and crawling up your drains. With shows like Fear FactorCockroaches have become less dangerous and more challenging. How long can one be held? Can you put one in your mouth for more than a minute? Can you make a cockroach cake?
Yes, to the last one. Yes, it is.
Katherine Dey, a cake maker, is an expert at creating hyperrealistic cakes. Scroll through her pictures Instagram, you’ll see a snail, larva, a liver, skulls, bats, and a human brain with the spinal cord attached to it. Then, she had to make the cockroach cake.
It was presented to Buzzfeeders who had terrible cockroach backstories. It is understandable that they were astonished when it was first seen. It looks almost like a cake cockroach is actually alive. The cake was eventually eaten by the cockroaches, but you can see their guts coming out as they slice it. Blah.
6 Kitty Litter Cake
As a fourth-grader, I remember attending a Halloween party. Every student had to bring something to eat. This is a terrible idea. One kid brought in a dessert called “kitty litter”, complete with Tootsie Roll cat pee and all. It looked just like kitty litter.
Now, I thought that would be the first and last time I’d have to look at a kitty litter confection, but oh, I was wrong. The kitty litter cake is now available. Going by a Try Guys “Without a Recipe” rubric, it is definitely a cake. But the cake is in an unopened container. The litter is made from crushed butter cookies. The poop has wrinkles! I’m not sure if the end product is supposed to be a cake or an actual litter box.
I don’t even know if we’re supposed to eat this cake or gawk at it and try to scoop out the cat poops.
5 Pig Head Cake
This cake was not made with any pigs in mind.
Going back to Katherine Dey, because there’s just so many good ones to choose from, we have the pig head cake, presented with a garnish on a silver platter. Though head cheese, as it’s officially called, is well-loved by some, when you’re literally given the full, unprocessed pig head on a platter, actually eating pig head becomes way less desirable.
It could be a funny, but not cruel joke. Dey captioned it. official photograph of it, “Made a birthday cake for a vegan.”
4 Croc Cake
There are just some cakes you don’t want to eat because you actually don’t know it’s a cake and why would you eat that anyway? One example can only be introduced by a Vine of social media past: “What are those?!” “Those are my crocs!”
This cake looks so real that you’d probably assume your foot goes in it, not that you put the shoe in your mouth. If you skip to 0:26 in the video, you’ll see the full detail the baker, Tuba Geckil, added to the shoe. The croc holes are perfectly rounded; the texture of croc soles is perfectly bumpy. So why would you ever want a croc in your mouth that doesn’t belong there in the first place?
3 Pimple Cupcakes
Most of the reason you don’t want to eat these cakes is psychological. It’s the thought of eating something that isn’t cake that psychs you out. This cake is one of these cakes.
Technically, it’s a cupcake, but technically it’s still a cake. These pimple cupcakes are so gross that no popaholic could eat them. They probably taste amazing, but I won’t be finding out anytime soon. I mean, the head is red and inflamed. There’s some substance oozing out of it. Oh yeah, the baker’s went in hard with this one. You can squeeze the top and the frosting will come out of your zit. And then you’re supposed to eat the frosting. It is precise, clever, and inedible.
But, tell me how it tastes. It probably tastes great.
2 Dead Head Cake
If your initial thought is that a Dead Head cake is a Grateful Dead, LSD-laced cake, you’re wrong. It sounds fun, but it’s not. This is a cake literally made to look like someone’s severed, bloody head, eyes rolled back and all. So even though this cake has a buttercream frosting and red velvet cake base, I just can’t get over the idea of eating someone’s head, gushing with fake blood.
1 Human Body Cake
This one is the best. Though it may not be the most hyperrealistic, it’s pretty messed up, and one can only imagine the type of cannibalistic fantasies the bakers are trying to fulfill with this one.
A street food vendor from China made a cake that looked like a human torso. The cake is then covered with a face painter who pretends to writhe like their body is being eaten alive. It’s savage, mayhem, and someone else’s taste.
Customers are hungry and ask for pieces, so vendors eat the whole thing. You don’t know what it means when everyone wants a piece of you until someone turns you into a cake.